TL;DR:
If you’re considering your first gay sex toy, you’re not alone—and you’re not weird. From choosing the right type to understanding how your body responds, this guide shares everything I wish someone had told me before I tried one.
Why Your First Gay Sex Toy Is a Big Deal
Buying your first gay sex toy is more than just a fun shopping experience—it’s a personal milestone. It can be empowering, scary, exciting, and awkward all at once. For many gay men, it’s the first step toward fully owning their pleasure and body awareness.
Mistake #1: Thinking Bigger Is Better
Let’s talk about size. I assumed “the bigger, the better” was the rule, and I paid the price—discomfort, tension, and a whole lot of regret. For beginners, starting small is not just okay—it’s smart. Choose a toy that looks unintimidating and prioritize comfort over ego.
Mistake #2: Skipping Lube or Using the Wrong Kind
Water-based lube is your best friend, especially for silicone toys. Oil-based lubes can degrade materials, and no lube at all is a recipe for pain. I learned this the hard way—don’t make the same mistake. Also, reapply liberally; more lube is almost always better.
Mistake #3: Ignoring the Need to Relax (Mentally and Physically)
I used to think sex toys were plug-and-play. They’re not. Especially with anal toys, your mind and body both need time to open up. Take it slow, breathe, and don’t rush the process. If you’re tense, your body will resist—and that’s when discomfort happens.
What Actually Helped Me Enjoy It
- Choosing a soft silicone plug with a flexible neck and flared base.
- Using a mirror for better control and comfort.
- Exploring alone first, without the pressure of performing or pleasing anyone else.
- Reading reviews from other gay men to feel more normal and informed.
Your First Toy Should Fit You
Don’t just pick what looks sexy—pick what feels right for where you are in your journey. A simple vibrating butt plug, a small prostate massager, or even a strokers sleeve might be a better start than a full-on dildo or machine. Your body, your pace, your pleasure.
Where to Find Beginner-Friendly Gay Sex Toys
Some adult stores can feel overwhelming or even judgmental. That’s why curated shops like Mendolls offer toys specifically for gay men, including beginner bundles with guides and support. Your first toy experience should feel safe and exciting—not intimidating.
Final Thoughts: There’s No “Right” First Toy—Only Yours
The best advice I can give? Be kind to yourself. Experiment, but don’t push yourself too hard. The goal is pleasure, connection with your body, and maybe even healing. Your first gay sex toy could be the beginning of a deeply affirming journey.
Q: What’s the best gay sex toy for beginners?
A: Start with a small, soft silicone toy like a butt plug or prostate massager. Avoid anything too large or complicated at first.
Q: Is it normal to feel nervous about using a sex toy?
A: Absolutely. It’s a new experience, and feeling nervous is totally okay. Take it slow and focus on comfort.
Q: Can I use regular lube with my sex toy?
A: Use water-based lube, especially with silicone toys. Oil-based lubes can degrade the material.
Ready to explore safely and confidently?
At MENDOLLS, we offer a curated selection of gay-friendly sex toys designed for comfort, pleasure, and self-expression. Whether you’re buying your first toy or upgrading your collection, we’ve got your back (and your front 😉).
👉 Discover Our Gay Sex Toys Collection
👉 Need Help Choosing? Message Us Anytime
English 
Japanese