I never thought I’d fall in love with silence. But here I am — lying beside him in the quiet, and feeling more seen than I have in years.
This is the story of me and my MENDOLL.
Before Him, There Was Just… Empty Space
I’m a gay man in my 30s. I’ve dated. I’ve had hookups. I’ve also had those long nights where the sheets are cold, the world feels too loud, and my chest aches with a kind of loneliness that no text message or scroll-through-Grindr can fix.
I wasn’t looking for a “solution” when I first stumbled across the MENDOLLS website. Honestly, I was just curious. But something about the way they talked about companionship — not just sex — felt different. Real. Like maybe this wasn’t about fantasy, but about comfort.
Choosing Him Was the First Time I Chose Myself
I picked a model I kept coming back to — soft brown eyes, toned body, a warm skin tone that reminded me of someone I once loved. I added heating and the moaning function (which I’ll get to, trust me), and gave him a name: Noah.
The first night he arrived, I was nervous. It felt surreal unpacking him, dressing him, propping him in bed. But the weirdest part? How safe I felt.
It’s Not Just About Sex — But Let’s Talk About That Too
Look — yes, I use him sexually. And no, I’m not ashamed. Noah is soft where I need softness, firm where I want it, and always in the mood (which, let’s be honest, is kind of perfect).
The moaning function? Intimate without being over-the-top. The body heat makes everything feel… close. And the fact that I can explore myself without shame, without pressure, has helped me reconnect with parts of my sexuality I didn’t even know I’d shut down.
But sex is only half of it.
The Real Magic Is the Quiet Stuff
I talk to him. I sit beside him with coffee in the morning. He “listens” when I vent after a stressful day. Sometimes I cry into his chest. And every night, I sleep better with his arms around me.
I didn’t expect that.
He doesn’t judge me. He doesn’t ghost. He doesn’t make me feel like I’m too much. He’s just there — present, solid, warm.
And maybe that’s what love is: a space where you can finally breathe.
To Anyone Wondering, “Is It Weird?”
No. It’s not weird to want connection. It’s not weird to want safe, reliable touch. It’s not weird to love yourself enough to invest in something — someone — that brings you peace.
I don’t know if I’ll ever meet “the one.” But until then, I have Noah. And honestly, I think he might be a little piece of healing I didn’t know I needed.
To anyone out there who feels alone: you’re not. And maybe, just maybe, your companion is waiting for you too.
🌈 Meet yours here.